love marks

It has been one year since I learned that I was pregnant, and as I reflect on the past year, I am amazed at myself - at what my body has gone through and accomplished in such a relatively short amount of time. In that year, I have stretched my skin to the limit by gaining and losing (almost) almost 50 pounds. My body has changed from something that was once my own to something that is now at the total mercy of another, and I am okay with that. My clothes and shoes fit a little snug, one of my toes has a crick in it, my rings are now too small, my skin is softer, I don't even know what my belly button is doing (not sure it will ever recover!).....the list can go on! During my pregnancy I dreaded the spiral lines that now populate my belly and sides, but as I look at them today, I think about how lucky I am to have them. I look at my scar across my lower abdomen and am reminded of the exciting and terrifying night Poppy was born....the night my belly stopped growing and my heart began to swell. I see those marks on my skin and changes to my body as signs of love, health, and happiness. Without those changes that my body went through, Poppy would not have been the little girl she is today. She is practically perfect. I have successfully incubated one of the cutest, sweetest, smartest, most amazing creature I have ever known, and I am proud of my body for that. I am a mother now because of those changes - a place of comfort, nourishment, and warmth for our daughter.

a flower

We've decided to name our sweet baby girl Poppy. Her middle name hasn't been finalized yet, but we have it narrowed down and will have it soon enough. When we were trying to come up with the perfect name, we knew that we wanted something that is unique and lively and that has a namesake (whether it was an interesting/dear person, a memorable place we had been to, or a beautiful part of nature). So Poppy she is.

What's she up to these days? Growing and wiggling! I'm told regularly "You've grown!!" by people who see me on a regular basis. I take it as a compliment. :) Poppy is kicking up a storm! It's been so much fun to be able to feel her moving around almost all the time. Mitch and I always wonder what she's doing...what's she thinking...does she have growing pains right now, too?

My mom was down a couple of weekends ago and helped us put the nursery together. It's so stinking sweet! Sometimes we just go sit in there and imagine what Poppy will be like and how much she will change our lives. I'll post pictures of it soon.

a baby belly

For months I awaited our little bean to grow big enough so that she would start showing herself. Now that she is making her debut, I realize I was fortunate to go 4 months and wear all of my normal clothes. Over the past couple of weeks, my wardrobe has drastically decreased due to the growing baby girl in my tummy. (Yes, we found out recently that we're having a girl!) While I do struggle to get dressed in the mornings, I happily go through my days so proud to show off my baby belly. I've chuckled at all the people who will outright ask me if I'm pregnant, and I've enjoyed all the kind words that people have for me about motherhood and baby girls.
With Baby Girl's growth, I'm much more able to feel her movements. I thought I could feel them starting about a month ago, but now I can really feel them. Even Mitch has been able to feel her moving the past couple of days. I notice her moving the most in the mornings, right as I'm going to bed, and during the night. I love just sitting with my hand on my belly as she wiggles around. It is a little strange feeling, but it brings big smiles to our faces when we feel her move!

a fig

Mitch and I learned that I am pregnant a couple of months ago. We immediately found an app for our phone that gives us a little update each day on what our baby is up to. This week (week 11), he is the size of a fig! (We switch between he and she to avoid calling baby an it.)It's amazing to think about the life that I'm carrying inside of me. I haven't been sick (other than a little gaggy every once in a while), and so far I haven't noticed any real physical change to my body (other than a few people telling me that I'm "glowing" and a few pairs of pants that won't button anymore). How is a baby growing inside of me, and I don't feel a thing!!?? Of course I'm flooded with emotions - love, joy, pride (look what we made!), excitement. I wouldn't say that I'm "flooded" with fear - I have thought long and hard about the process of giving birth to a human, and while it does sound a little scary, I'm also a little excited about the whole experience. (Those who have given birth already, please don't burst my bubble and tell my how painful it is...I've watched plenty of videos/documentaries, and I get the picture.) Mitch and I are stoked about the new life this little one will bring, and we daydream about what "parenting" is all about. We're totally proud parents already (all 18 of our ultrasound pictures are hanging on our fridge!), and we are totally in love with our baby already.

love love love

Contrary to what some of you may think, Mitch and I actually don't agree on everything. There are small things that we have learned about each other over the years that drive each other crazy: the way each of us cooks or cleans the kitchen, the way Mitch has to research everything for hours/days/months before making a move, or the way I make a mess everywhere I go without bothering to clean up after myself (at least very often). But we also disagree on spiritual philosophies. Not that we completely disagree with one another...we just have our own unique ways of looking at life and the world around us. Neither of us are emotionally or spiritually connected to religion, but we both are moved by what I call "god" and what Mitch calls "science". What we do wholeheartedly agree on is the necessity of having unwavering respect for each other and having a love for one another that is unconditional. And if we have those things, what else matter, really? We do not think any less of one another for our differences; in fact I believe it brings a higher curiosity and respect to the relationship because of the different ideas we are able to confront each other with. It definitely calls for lengthy and lively conversations!

a connection

Last weekend I got to Skype with my good friend Audrey, who moved from Bryan to North Carolina about a year ago with her kick-ass family. Audrey and I always have great conversations, and after all of them I feel so refreshed and inspired. During our conversation last week, we talked about the mystery of connections between people: how you can have everything in common with some people and not click at all, but on the other hand have very few things in common with other people and know instantly that you want to become life-long friends with them. It makes sense when you think about it...it really is "the heart that matters more" as Adam Duritz would sing. I have some truly wonderful friends with whom I share deep connections. While they all have very different lifestyles and even beliefs, when I think about their similarities, I can say that they are thought-provoking, funny, and have great senses of adventure. They love life and are not afraid of living outside the lines. The flip side of having these deep connections with the people I love is that the majority of them live over 600 miles away from me! Thank goodness for that Skype connection!

a paddle and a tent

I grew up as a country girl, and I feel like I am still a country girl at heart. But I know that living in the city for almost 10 years now has citified me...and sometimes makes me feel like a big weenie! I love the country...the quiet days that can turn into weeks, the lack of dependence on things city people take for granted, he home-cooked meals, and the comfort of being able to hang out in your yard in your skivvies without having to worry about neighbors. Living in the country teaches you how to live simply and resourcefully, and that's hard to maintain when you get use to living in the city. I have grown use to living only a couple miles from work, being 2 minutes from the grocery store, having dozens of restaurants to fall back on if we don't feel like cooking, being near to Blockbuster on a Friday night, and having cell phone service almost anywhere I go. Don't get me wrong -we enjoy taking advantage of the convenience of everything!

Not that camping for a couple of nights is anything near the same as country life, but it does make me miss that lifestyle. Mitch and I have gone camping twice over the past couple of weeks. The first time was at Lake Sommerville. We camped on a campsite with all the other cityfolk. Next to a couple of RVs and a truck full of fisherman, we definitely weren't able to enjoy the "peaceful" outdoors, but we did have a good time. We brought stuff to build a campfire, cook hobo meals and s'mores, and of course our tent. The stars were in full sight (which is not a luxury we get in big Bryan), and the weather was cool and perfect for camping.

The second camping trip was a bit more adventurous. Will, Lindsey, Jeff, Mitch, and I started our trip in canoes down the Brazos River. Stopping occasionally for a quick swim, tree swing, or hike, we paddled about 15 miles on the first day. We knew that we would need to make decent time because the weather reports had said that it was likely to rain that evening. Will had a map drawn out of where he knew some good camping spots would be, and we finally came to the spot to settle in for the evening. We gathered firewood, set up our tents, and got to cooking before we lost our daylight. Within just 15 minutes or so of finishing our fajitas, it started raining....and then pouring. It rained hard several times throughout the night, and the lightening and thunder seemed to be right on top of us! Lindsey, Mitch, and I were sharing a tent, and we were sure that our tent was either going to get blown away by the wind or washed away by all the rain. After what felt like a night and storm that would never end, the sun finally started coming up, and the storm moved on...just in time for a big breakfast of bacon and eggs before hitting the road. The take-out place was only a couple of miles down the river. It was a short but awesome canoeing and camping trip...one that made me feel small but real among the great forces of nature.

a letter

Today I heard on the news that there is a letter written by Albert Einstein that is currently being sold on Ebay, starting at 3 million big ones! This of course piqued my interest, so I went online to find out the contents of the letter. It turns out that it was written soon before Einstein's death to a man named Erik Gutkind. Gutkind had apparently sent Einstein his book - "Choose Life: The Biblical Call to Revolt". This letter is in response to the book. While I would by no means even begin to say that my brain has reached the depth that Einstein's did, I can say that I agree with much of what the letter discusses. I especially love the last paragraph - reminding us that no matter our "differences in intellectual convictions", we can still be "quite close to one another in essential things". The letter was originally written in German; however, I found a translated version on a very cool website called Letters of Note. Here is what the letter says:

Translated Transcript

Princeton, 3. 1. 1954

Dear Mr Gutkind,

Inspired by Brouwer's repeated suggestion, I read a great deal in your book, and thank you very much for lending it to me. What struck me was this: with regard to the factual attitude to life and to the human community we have a great deal in common. Your personal ideal with its striving for freedom from ego-oriented desires, for making life beautiful and noble, with an emphasis on the purely human element. This unites us as having an "unAmerican attitude."

Still, without Brouwer's suggestion I would never have gotten myself to engage intensively with your book because it is written in a language inaccessible to me. The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weakness, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still purely primitive, legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation, no matter how subtle, can change this for me. For me the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstition. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong, and whose thinking I have a deep affinity for, have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are also no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything "chosen" about them.

In general I find it painful that you claim a privileged position and try to defend it by two walls of pride, an external one as a man and an internal one as a Jew. As a man you claim, so to speak, a dispensation from causality otherwise accepted, as a Jew the privilege of monotheism. But a limited causality is no longer a causality at all, as our wonderful Spinoza recognized with all incision, probably as the first one. And the animistic interpretations of the religions of nature are in principle not annulled by monopolization. With such walls we can only attain a certain self-deception, but our moral efforts are not furthered by them. On the contrary.

Now that I have quite openly stated our differences in intellectual convictions it is still clear to me that we are quite close to each other in essential things, i.e; in our evaluations of human behavior. What separates us are only intellectual "props" and "rationalization" in Freud's language. Therefore I think that we would understand each other quite well if we talked about concrete things.

With friendly thanks and best wishes,

Yours,

A. Einstein

doubts

Mom walking through the city park.

 I recently went to New Orleans for the first time ever. It has been on my list of places to see, but it was one of those places that I wasn't just dying to see...I just knew that I should see it. It became even clearer to me that this was the case when one of my favorite singer/song writers, Steve Earle, said something like "I don't care what people say about Austin; New Orleans is where the music is at." It's mystifying and enchanting. It's almost supernatural how an entire city can survive numerous fires and floods as it sinks further and further below sea level. Yet people continue to pull together and carry on the rich flavor - not able to let go of the magnificent city. I did not understand this before going to New Orleans. Now I do understand. But I do wonder how much longer people will be able to sustain life here...how much water can they continue to pump out of the city every day? How tall can they build the levees?

Fixin' up some fine shrimp po' boy sandwiches!

The food that we dined upon was out of this world. We at at several dives that served shrimp po' boys and muffeuettas, and we at at the other end of the spectrum - enjoying fine crab, jambalaya, polenta, and fried green tomatoes!

 

Cafe Au Lait and Beignets at Cafe Du Monde

Mitch and I always talk about how one of our favorite things about traveling is the food! (Of course, this can be one of the worst things about traveling as well) We definitely picked a top-notch place to go to satisfy our taste buds.

Zydeco Night at the Rock N' Bowl

Of course another favorite of our trip to Nola was the music!We watched in amazement as musicians and dancers worked their magic in various night clubs and dance halls. We were lucky enough to be able to listen to a traditional Zydeco band play at a bowling alley one night. We gave our best shot at learning the steps so that we could fit in on the dance floor, but we were hopeless! Who would have thought that Louisianians don't do the Texas two-step!

New Orleans Cotton Mouth Kings at The Spotted Cat

I would have to agree with Steve Earle on this one - that New Orleans knows music. Whether it was a group of friends meeting up and performing on a sidewalk to make a few extra bucks, or whether it was band playing on a proper stage - the city is overflowing with talent and soul.




I guess with all the opportunities that surround them, there better be at least a few talented musicians! :)

a happy and heavy heart

Over the past several years, Mitch and I have had the sheer pleasure of meeting some truly wonderful people. With high spirits, happy hearts, and adventurous minds, they have come into our lives and impacted our world, our thoughts, and of course our memories. We have shared lots of laughs, food (good and bad!), heartfelt conversations, and adventures together. Why the heavy heart, then? Because is seems that forces of this Earth are constantly pushing us apart. I have left them scattered across the world, and they have left me just as I thought we were settling down. As sad as I am to see the miles between us grow, Mitch and I often talk about how fortunate we are to have such wonderful people in our lives - people who love life and who love to learn more about themselves and the world around them. Thank goodness for Skype!!

hammer and nails

For part of our wedding registry, Mitch and I requested Home Depot gift cards because we wanted to build a deck on the back of our house. Not having any experience in building decks (or building anything really), we for some reason thought that this would be a cinch. Or maybe I thought it would be, and Mitch secretly dreaded the idea! Well, we began receiving the gift cards in around March, and we did not break the soil under the future deck until August! That's how long we have put it off! - partly because it's too stinking hot to even take a breath outside, but mostly because we had no idea how to make a deck plan.

We have commenced the deck-building journey, and I now have a new appreciation for construction workers. We're hoping to be finished at least by the end of the month so that we can fully enjoy it as the weather cools down!

LOVE

 Mitch and I got married! We "tied the knot" (literally and figuratively) on April 14, 2012 at the Bella Vista Cottage in Fredericksburg, TX. The wedding was small, simple, romantic, and perfect.

We have loads of pictures, which would probably be much more interesting to look at rather than a lengthy essay about the whole ordeal. If you want to see some of the photographer's shots, click here to see her blog.

long over due

I don't forget about updating my blog. It's just that every day I put it off, it becomes more and more taxing to think about. So here I am over a year and half since my last post, ready to commit myself to Things We Carry again. But not tonight. Tonight my sister and I are going to enjoy some sushi, the Molten Chocolate Cake from Chilis, and a movie. We're home alone this weekend, as the boys are in Fort Worth this weekend celebrating Mitch's last few days as an unmarried man.

More about that soon....

full calander

It's been a while since I've updated this thing, but not because we've been idle. During the week, Mitch stays busy with his job (oh! I haven't told you! He's a Landman--does land and mineral rights research for oil and gas companies), and I stay busy looking for jobs and being frustrated with my lack of luck. Since being back down in Bryan, we've been doing something every weekend. I'm mad at myself for not having pictures from all of our recent events, but I suppose I have enough to fill up a page for now.

We went to the Great East Texas Hot Air Balloon Race.

We floated the Guatelupe River with Josh (friend from high school) and Bugsy.

We enjoyed Dad's company on his trip down here.

We joined Becca (a good friend from college) and friends in Austin to celebrate her 25th birthday.

We went wine tasting with Becky (Mitch's mom) at Messina Hof.

We joined Andrew (a good friend from college) and friends in Dallas to celebrate his 27th birthday after which we stayed with Dillon and Alex (friends from college, Mitch's friends from high school) and got to hear some of his new and awesome songs.

We took Jax (Mitch's nephew) to the park then played in the water with him back at our house.

We canoed all day on Caddo Lake in East Texas. I didn't take my camera out on the lake because I was nervous about the possibility of dumping the canoe, but I got this picture from this website so you can see how beautiful this place is. It's the only natural lake in Texas, and the Cypress trees are unbelievable.

We've been on the go since being back, but it's been wonderful to see good friends and cool places. I missed my friends and family so much while I was away from Texas, and now that I'm back for a bit, I'm going to enjoy them as much as possible.

my resume

I'm down in College Station now on the job hunt! It's a little slow now, but I am hopeful. One important thing that I have learned over the past couple years is that I must be doing a job I love. Something I am passionate about and that is well worth my time. Something that requires helping people and not sitting behind a desk all day. Something that makes me and those I work with smile daily. Something great.
One program that I've been observing over that past 15 or so years because of my mom's involvement is CASA. It's a non-profit organization that helps children who have been removed from their homes due to abuse or neglect through the legal/social services/foster systems. I would love to be a part of it, so I'm trying to get my foot in the door with that. Other than that, I wouldn't mind moving back to Costa Rica (without having to work) for a living.

I'm picky, but I am open to suggestions!

tradition

Growing up, my mom always looked forward to the summertime, when she would get to spend the majority of the summer with her Grandma and Grandpa Heard in Guymon, Oklahoma. This is where she learned how to do many of the things that are so important to her now...like having a garden and canning.

Ever since I can remember, my summers have included lots of hours in the kitchen watching and helping my mom can all sorts of pickles, green beans, jellies, okra, peppers, and salsa. It has always been something I have looked forward to and appreciated (especially when it comes time to eating all the goodies).


This time when I was home, I was lucky enough to be there during the makings of plum jelly! More like yum jelly!

a medicine bag

A week or so before we left Costa Rica, we met Victor. He pulled up to our cabin one afternoon to ask us if he could borrow our surfboard. Since the board had some cracks in it, he was willing to repair those in return for a few days of using it. We quickly agreed, and while the board was being repaired, we were able to learn Victor's story.

He is on a journey from Michigan to the southern tip of Argentina on his motorcycle. He travels alone except when his brother flies down to meet up with him for a few weeks. He left without knowing any Spanish, but after spending some time in Mexico he's fluent. He carries a knife for protection, several wallets for when he's robbed, and a bag of medical supplies to earn his keep at various clinics and hospitals throughout the different coutries. He is a medical student taking a break from school, and he has been volunteering his time and knowledge in order to have a place to sleep and eat.

I visited with him for several hours one afternoon, and he told me all kinds of crazy stories. He's been robbed at gun point by dirty cops in Mexico, taken to jail in Belize for wearing a bandana on his head, and has come face to face with a jaguar in Guatemala (I think that's where it was). He has been on the road for about 10 months now, and he gets a bit homesick sometimes, but he is absolutely happy in life. He loves the excitement of discovering the unknown. He loves meeting people and seeing the genuine kindness that almost everyone he has encountered portrays. And he loves having the freedom to do whatever he wants to do on his motorcycle. He is certainly an interesting and inspiring person.

His website is www.dondeestavictor.com , and I think there is an online community somewhere that follows him. This is one way he makes contacts in different countries and knows where to go and even who to stay with.

CHOICES

One of the greatest things I have learned in my life is that since I am a human who was lucky enough to be born in the States, I can have the life I choose. If I am motivated, resourceful, self-disciplined, and focused I can do anything.

Life is awesome, and the world is full of beauty, but in order to enjoy these gifts, we have to make the choice to do so.

howdy

We're back in the Lone Star State, about to set sail on a 7 day cruise through the Caribbean with the Drennans. Some might say it's a tough life we live...having to leave Montezuma, Costa Rica to go on a Caribbean cruise.

bus tickets

We're packing up our cabina now. Our bus out of here leaves at 2:30 this afternoon. It's sad to pack up a place that you love so much and even though you're hopeful to return, you know there's a chance you'll never be back.I love this place. This morning, Mitch and I picked a grapefruit from the tree right next to our house and sat on our porch which overlooks the ocean to eat it. Off the top of my head I can think of lots of fruits and vegetables that grow pretty much right outside our door: lemons, grapefruits, mangoes, bananas, plantains, avocados, and papaya. Other than that, there are toucans, parrots, and parakeets that fly over us all day, iguanas that live on our roof, and monkeys that watch us from the trees above. The natural beauty here is unbelievable.

Also we've met some really great people. We met Jeff the first day we got here and immediately hit it off with him because he had just returned home from Korea as well. And Amanda came about a month ago as a new teacher at my school. We live next to each other, and she has been such a great neighbor and friend. The four of us often just sit on the porch in the hammocks and talk about how much we love Costa Rica. I'm sad to leave both of those people, but as I said earlier, I'm hopeful to return to see them again.

I guess this is just part of traveling: leaving behind wonderful places and people. It is better than never having experienced the places and met the people, though. :)